i think i've been depressed for some time now. but today i had a feeling i'm not sure i've had before. i was driving, stopped at the end of pt. rocks, getting onto the hwy. when this feeling of i-dont-care-if-i-die-right-now came over me. usually its more of i-dont-care-about-anything so this one actually made me think if i'm really depressed depressed. but somehow i felt strangely calm and peaceful.
it was one of those days i'd start crying at work. and i think how glad i work alone sometimes because then no one sees me cry. probably a blessing and a curse. all that time alone to think may be contributing to the depression. its all part of a weird cycle you can't escape.
