Monday, June 1, 2015

Two years and counting

About 10 days ago was my two year.  The day before, Emi was rushed to the trauma center after passing out at work and hitting her head.  Mid-May will not bring good memories for the both of us.

I dont seem to be having brain glitches as much but more brain numbness, especially around social situations.  I forget to say thank you, or inquire about others well being.  Something is still off though mostly back to normal, I guess.  I still have moments where I go into "pause mode" where I just stop and stand, blank.  Lack of motivation to do anything is still there, but not as much.  Been taking vitamin D3 for about two months now, tests showed i was pretty deficient.  No doubt, i hardly go outside anymore.  I think that deficiency contributed to my sadness and depression which still lingers within me.  I still cry occasionally.  I dont think forgetfulness hasnt gotten any worse lately, seems to be plateauing. Thinking out the future gets me down though.  I think i cant go on like this but yet i cant leave the kids and walk away.  My life is not mine. Yumi is dying.  I dont know if she will be back, sadly.

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