First trail "run" of the year

For the first time since my neck thing, i went out to the hub and got out of the trail with the dogs. Was for only 25 min but was really nice getting back out.  I miss hitting the trails, just didnt realize how much.  And how good it makes me feel.  Tried  jogging back, legs felt weak, form was way off, trying to keep head up.  Neck didnt really hurt.  Yay, recovery is working.  Got tired super quick.  Body in bad shape. But felt REALLY good.  Few days later, had a day where for a few hours actually felt normal again.  No pain and felt energetic.  And this was during woodland.  I think that mini jog was a turning point for a healthier yumi.

Wrong month

Was looking to change our lib's FB banner to something Oct, somewhere in my search in my mind I was certain it was Nov so found a Nov literacy banner.  It was really cute so I showed it to Susan when it hit me, oh man, its not November, its October!  It weird, cuz during that time, I truly believe it is fact until something triggers a realization that its not.  Feels like I'm living in a false reality sometimes.

My beautiful broken brain

Saw a netflix documentary about a 34 yr old girl who had a brain hemmorage stroke. Her main deficit was how it affected her language.  Not being able recall what something was called.  And re-learning how read and write.  Some of the videos she takes of herself, she is spacey. I find myself in that state often, especially at home.  But in a strange way I am calm and at peace when I am like this. Sometimes thoughts come in and out, sometimes I just zone out and just look at things.  I think I go through this more whenI am tired.  The main girls says something about how theres an obsession with recording things as your memory declines.  So true.  There are times I don't think about my stroke, more because other things are there, like my neck thing or just stressed about a bunch of things.  Its been on my mind again lately, and I think about how that has changed me.  And how I feel weaker, and older.  And I wonder if David even is aware of these things, and understands this is the new me or rather just thinks that I am more of an annoyance and a more difficult person to be around.

Cervical Kyphosis

It all started with a headache a few days before xmas 2015 which didn't go away for a long time.  Mid-Jan I start getting a pain near my right shoulder blade.  Had just had a long day at Woodland, been working a lot in general. Coupled with working two jobs, the holidays,  new job,... overload on stress and being tired.  So I thought my muscles were just overly tense plus possible repetitve stress injury/tendonitis. Went and got a massage early Feb which helped with the headaches but not the back and arm pain.  Kept thinking time will heal so didn't go see a doctor.  Mid-march, the pain seems to be getting a little better, some days better than others.  Excedrin helped when I needed it.   But still couldn't sleep thru the nite without the pain waking me up. Tried CBD (Cannabidoil, basically pot without the THC) which didn't seem to really work.  Had some edibles with Melatonin which helped and allowed me to sleep thru the night for the first time in two months.   But still there were painful days.  Someone suggested seeing a chiropractor which made sense.   After some xrays, turns out I have a reverse cervical curve, or cervical kyphosis.   Basically, the natural curve in my neck is reversed which affects the nerves, sending me pain.  We think this happened over many years, a combination of mainly  the six car accidents, and bad posture.  Plus a mild scoliosis in the spine, which may be there since birth, and its really not correctable but mainly will try to keep from getting worse.   The cervical kyphosis will take 5-8 years to correct. Have read online that it doesn't always to back to the normal curve but will at least become straight.  Will take 3-5 years before we will see any changes on an xray.  So for now I will go in twice a week for four weeks to get adjustments, learn strengthening and stretching exercises to do at home. And as I notice I may need an adjustment, which go in as needed.  At the lower part of the neck bones, there is disc degeneration in one disc,  which he says will not regenerate. Rest of neck discs looked good. The bones surrounding the degenerated disc looked like the edges were starting to sharpen, my guess is because of the grinding.  Have had two adjusts so far and doing neck stretches (which hurt), and today it feels like the pain and frequency is less so I'm guessing the healing process had begun.  He says the pain should go away within a month. So that's something to look forward to.

Interesting side note..." The lack of cervical spine curvature causes tension on the spinal cord and carotid arteries as they ascend into the brain to feed it oxygen and nutrients.  This can cause dizziness, headaches, nausea, fatigue, tinnitus, pain, nervousness, insomnia, high blood pressure, and confusion, just to name a few. "  I wonder if my blood pressure will retun to normal when my neck is fixed...

My Stroke of Insight by Jill Taylor

This book crossed my path so I decided to try reading a book again.  Its about this brain researcher who had a stroke at age 37.  Her stroke was a rare hemmoraging stroke, which was on her left hemisphere, taking her about 8  years to recover all her functions.  Its been an interesting read, learning about even on the left side or right side, depeneding on the location of the stroke, it affects the person differently.  In her case, the details of language and math were affected, as well as daily cognitive functions.  She says the right brain sees things in the big picture, where the left brain is more detailed.  Right brain is fluid and free, left brain thinks, thus contributing to criticism, negativity, ego, etc.  I wonder if that's why I've been more negative since my stroke, seems like things bother me more since then.  The part of my right brain that balances that out may have been hit?  I need to look back at hospital notes, I wonder if it states what part of right brain was affected. 

I think I am actually going to finish this book, a rare thing for me to do since I usually lose interest within the first few chapters.  I've ordered a few more books, hoping to start reading more.  Turning Emi's bed into my reading nook has helped.  I can read before bed now.  I think its good for me, better than starting at my phone the hours before I go to bed.  Next step will be getting back into something creative again.