First trail "run" of the year

For the first time since my neck thing, i went out to the hub and got out of the trail with the dogs. Was for only 25 min but was really nice getting back out.  I miss hitting the trails, just didnt realize how much.  And how good it makes me feel.  Tried  jogging back, legs felt weak, form was way off, trying to keep head up.  Neck didnt really hurt.  Yay, recovery is working.  Got tired super quick.  Body in bad shape. But felt REALLY good.  Few days later, had a day where for a few hours actually felt normal again.  No pain and felt energetic.  And this was during woodland.  I think that mini jog was a turning point for a healthier yumi.

Wrong month

Was looking to change our lib's FB banner to something Oct, somewhere in my search in my mind I was certain it was Nov so found a Nov literacy banner.  It was really cute so I showed it to Susan when it hit me, oh man, its not November, its October!  It weird, cuz during that time, I truly believe it is fact until something triggers a realization that its not.  Feels like I'm living in a false reality sometimes.

My beautiful broken brain

Saw a netflix documentary about a 34 yr old girl who had a brain hemmorage stroke. Her main deficit was how it affected her language.  Not being able recall what something was called.  And re-learning how read and write.  Some of the videos she takes of herself, she is spacey. I find myself in that state often, especially at home.  But in a strange way I am calm and at peace when I am like this. Sometimes thoughts come in and out, sometimes I just zone out and just look at things.  I think I go through this more whenI am tired.  The main girls says something about how theres an obsession with recording things as your memory declines.  So true.  There are times I don't think about my stroke, more because other things are there, like my neck thing or just stressed about a bunch of things.  Its been on my mind again lately, and I think about how that has changed me.  And how I feel weaker, and older.  And I wonder if David even is aware of these things, and understands this is the new me or rather just thinks that I am more of an annoyance and a more difficult person to be around.