Saw a netflix documentary about a 34 yr old girl who had a brain hemmorage stroke. Her main deficit was how it affected her language. Not being able recall what something was called. And re-learning how read and write. Some of the videos she takes of herself, she is spacey. I find myself in that state often, especially at home. But in a strange way I am calm and at peace when I am like this. Sometimes thoughts come in and out, sometimes I just zone out and just look at things. I think I go through this more whenI am tired. The main girls says something about how theres an obsession with recording things as your memory declines. So true. There are times I don't think about my stroke, more because other things are there, like my neck thing or just stressed about a bunch of things. Its been on my mind again lately, and I think about how that has changed me. And how I feel weaker, and older. And I wonder if David even is aware of these things, and understands this is the new me or rather just thinks that I am more of an annoyance and a more difficult person to be around.
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